DON'T BE A GOMER

Do you remember Gomer? It’s not the most popular name found on the birth registry at most hospitals. No, not the one from the TV show, Gomer Pyle, USMC. The Gomer I am writing about was a woman. She was the daughter of Diblaim. Yes the names are a bit different, but stay with me on this because it gets even more strange. This post is about just one aspect of Gomer’s story.

What would you do if God told you to marry someone who you knew would not remain faithful? Gomer was a prostitute and God told Hosea to marry her. See, I told you it gets strange. Why on earth would our loving God tell the prophet Hosea, a man of God, to marry a prostitute? Hosea knew she had not been faithful; after all she was a prostitute. Hosea also knew that she probably would not remain faithful after they married. He was right; Gomer left after giving birth and fell back into a life of prostitution. When Hosea found her, she was being sold for less than the slaves. Her life had hit rock bottom. Hosea bought her back and they remained married afterwards.

 

How many people remain faithful before or after the wedding night? Unfortunately that number continues to decline. Statistics say that about ½ of married couples will have an affair. Affairs are not just for ordinary, common people. President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, Gen. David Petraeus and Paula Broadwell, are just a few examples of highly influential married people that had affairs. The world tells us to do whatever we want, with whomever we want, whenever you want and there are no consequences for your actions. What a bunch of lies. Don’t fall for the lies of the world.

 

Stay connected to God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit with prayer and Bible reading. Stay connected with your spouse. Not just in a sexual way even though it is the glue in marriage, but by playing together, talking & listening (hearing) to each other, reading the Bible together, praying together, etc. There are endless ways to connect with your spouse. Did you notice I did not mention kids? They will grow up and leave one day (at least they are supposed to). After the kids are grown and gone you and your spouse will be spending much more time with each other and you do not need to be strangers to each other. Ever.

 

Do whatever you must to remain pure to God and your spouse. No matter what our past looks like our future is up to us to write. So, write a masterpiece of a life and marriage. God tells us to remain faithful to Him and our spouse. God lays before us a choice of life or death. Choose life.

 

Hosea & Gomer = God’s love for unfaithful Israel and us.

START A REVOLUTION IN YOUR MARRIAGE

It's time to get a revolution started within your marriage. If you don't start it, who will. Let God take your marriage to the next level. Raise the bar on how you treat each other, speak about each other, out serve each other, and out love each other. Inside your home as well as outside.

1. Seek God's help. When we try to do something on our own it usually does not work at all or the results are less than desired. But when we rely on God working in us we are unstoppable. Phillipians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Remember that a three cord strand is very hard to break - God First, your spouse second, and yourself third.

2. Seek your spouse's help. Yes, ask for their help. For us husbands this may be more embarrassing than asking for directions at the convenience store. Ask them to help keep you accountable to God and them.

3. Ask your Christian marriage mentors to pray for your marriage to emulate Christ's love for us - the church. If you do not have a marriage mentor, seek out a mature Christian married couple and discuss it with them.

We have to be the light of the world and we must start at home with our marriages. Well, light it up!

LOVING THE HATERS

I saw a quote this morning from George Orwell, "The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it." I completely agree with Orwell on this. It really got my mind thinking about who the real HATERS are and asking about why they hate. I believe they are people that simply cannot be happy for another's success so they try to bring them down by insults and lies. Merriam-Webster defines hate as: to feel extreme enmity toward, to have a stung aversion to, usually deriving from fear, anger or sense of injury.

Why do liberals say that Christians are haters just because we do not approve of a lifestyle outside of God's word (Homosexuality) or because we do not approve of some "free" choices (abortion)? We, as Christians, are the ones promoting God's love. But I digress.

Have you ever felt like you hated your spouse? Maybe that time when they said something that cut you to the bone or after they acted a certain way? We must remember that hatred is a feeling and our feeling can lie to us. We should always love the sinner but hate the sin. While our spouse will at times do things that we do not like, we must remember that we are commanded to love them no matter what. Husbands are given this commandment three  times in Ephesians 5:25, 28 & 33. Wives are commanded to respect their husband, Ephesians 5:22 & 33. Vs 22 says submit not respect but submission is showing respect. 

God commands us to love people. We do not get to choose who we will love and who we will not love or hate. But is it ok to hate something? Yes. We are to hate sin just as much as God hates sin. Proverbs 6:16 tells us, "There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him; haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, ^{a heart that devises wicked schemes,} feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lie and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers."

If you're asking how and why we should continue to love our spouse after they did or said that horrible thing, the answer is in Matthew 5:37-40 where Jesus gave us the Greatest Commandment: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Our spouse is our neighbor. 

When they do or say something we do not like, it is imperative to continue loving them and separate the action or word from the person. Our marriages depend on our ability to do this. If we are unable to do this our marriages will fail. The other relationships we have with people will fail also because we would be continuing to judge them and not their actions.

So, what are we to do now? Forgive our spouse for anything they have done or said that caused us harm. Forgive yourself also. (I am not saying to stay married if there is abuse) I will conquer that in another post. If abuse is in your marriage please read 1Corinthians 7, seek counseling and pray.

My version of the George Orwell quote: "The further a society drifts from God, the more it will hate God and the truth". The more our marriage drifts from God, the harder it will be to stay happily married. So, get back to God and make Him your Lord and Savior, give him your marriage, kids, work, finances, all that you have. It is all from Him anyway. And love God, your spouse and your neighbor.

Keep on loving!

DID YOU SAY SOMTHING? I WASN'T LISTENING

The greatest compliment you can give anyone, especially your spouse, is to listen when they’re speaking. But do more than just listen, hear what they are saying. Watch their body language and how they are saying it, not just what they are saying.

The greatest insult you can give anyone is when you don’t listen to them. Do you keep your eyes on the TV, computer screen, video game, texting or just look past them? Is it wait for the next timeout or commercial break? Or is it, just let me call my girlfriend back first?

How often do you give your spouse (or kids) your undivided attention? Do you put down whatever you were doing and look them in the eyes with your full attention? When we do, our actions tell them that we actually care about them and what they are saying.

The next time your spouse (or kids) are speaking to you, stop everything and give them your full attention. If it is hard at first, keep working at it and pray about it. They are the most important people in your life and they are worth the effort.

Oct 31st - Celebrate Reformation Day!

Did you know that today, October 31, is one of the most significant dates in church history? No, I’m not talking about Halloween—I’m talking about Reformation Day! You probably won’t see neighborhood kids going door-to-door dressed like Martin Luther or Ulrich Zwingli tonight, but these men and their fellow reformers made a huge and lasting impact on the way that evangelical Christians understand and approach Scripture.

The Protestant Reformation was shaped by many people over many years, but came into focus when a monk named Martin Luther nailed his famous 95 theses to the door of the Wittenberg church in 1517. Luther was a Catholic priest who was upset at the widespread corruption he observed within the ecclesiarchy, most notably the sale of “indulgences” that promised postmortem forgiveness of sins for deceased loved ones.

 

Outside Luther’s Germany, similar “protest” movements were helmed by people like John Calvin, Ulrich Zwingli, and John Knox. Beyond protesting corruption in the church, the emerging “protestant” movement challenged many of the theological teachings of the Roman Catholic church. The reformers believed that Scripture alone—not human traditions or the rulings of a church—held complete authority for Christians (see “sola scriptura”), and that salvation was a free gift of God that could not be earned by good deeds. The widespread publication and distribution of Bibles—indeed, the fact that all of us can afford and freely read the Bible ourselves—is one of the most enduring legacies of the Reformation.

 

The century following the Protestant Reformation was a chaotic and violent time, but the reform movements survived to form the basis of today’s Protestant denominations. Protestants owe a debt of gratitude to the many reformers who risked (and in some cases, lost) their lives rebuilding the church. And non-Protestant Christians can appreciate the reformers for confronting corruption in the church, even if they don’t agree with all of Protestant theology. So today, pause for a few minutes amidst the Halloween festivities to remember this pivotal moment in church history.

 

From BibleGateway:

http://www.biblegateway.com/blog/2012/10/celebrate-reformation-day/?utm_source=SilverpopMailing&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=BG%20News%2010312012%20(1)&utm_content=

PUT A NUMBER ON THAT DOOR!

What is it about having a number on the outside of a door that makes us act like we are honeymooning again? What is so special about a little number on the door? You know – the number – on the outside of the door at the hotel. Is it that you are in an unusual location? Is it not having all the clutter in the bedroom? Is it that you are not worried your kids will not hear you from the next room? Whatever the reason, it’s time to start acting the same way at home. Why not?

 

Some people will act and say things from behind a door with a number on it that they would never even think of saying at their home while having sex with their spouse. I am not suggesting going (porn) here, just live it up a little more. Just read the Song of Solomon and see how much God wants us to enjoy each other.

 

So, put the number on the door or a Do Not Disturb sign and bring back those honeymoon feelings?

HELP! MY SPOUSE DOESN’T WANT A BETTER MARRIAGE

So, you think your spouse does not want a better marriage while you want a marriage made in Heaven. You believe your spouse doesn’t see the need for any changes to your current situation. At least that may be what you are thinking. Chances are that your spouse is just complacent with the way things are. They may not believe things need to change because they are happy with the way things are currently. Marriages only coast downhill. They take work to go uphill with both spouses helping each other.

 

How many things do you want to change? One, ten, everything? The first thing to ask may be why do you believe things need to change? Secondly, why do you believe your spouse does not want a better marriage? Have they told you they don’t want your marriage to get better? (If so, know we are praying for your marriage.) If you want a better marriage so the two of you are showing your kids and the world God’s love you are one the right track. As a married couple we are to emulate Jesus, our groom, to others. But, if you want a better marriage out of selfish reasons you need to re-evaluate your heart and motive on this one.

 

Where do we go from here? Let’s try a few new things. It may be painful at first since the new things will stretch us out of our comfort zone but the rewards are plentiful.

 

If you want your husband to help with the housework try doing the housework naked. (Obviously, your husband will need to be in the house for this to work) Ok, not if kids are around and only with the blinds closed. Your spouse is the only one ever allowed to see you naked. Yes, a guy is writing this but I hope you see the benefits of this. While fatigue is your number one reason for a lack of sex, it is the number one reason for men also. We are just too busy of a nation. Find ways to relax together and enjoy God's peace.

 

If you want more sex try doing the housework for her. Do the dishes, vacuum the floors, do the laundry – including putting the clothes up and/or cook supper. How about helping the kids with their homework, bathing them and tucking them into bed while your wife relaxes with a Calgon bubble bath or reading a good book? Fatigue is the number one reason for a lack of sex. A survey by Paul at The Marriage Bed “Why wives say no to sex, and what a man can do about it” can be found here http://bit.ly/UtNx6H Paul also says, “So, if you want more sex, your number one job is to find a way for your bride to get more rest and better sleep. Nothing else will have as much of an effect, and for most women nothing else can have an effect until the exhaustion issue is resolved.”

 

The main thing to remember in your marriage is that your marriage is not about you. It is about serving your spouse. Jesus said He came to serve not be served. All of us are to be Christlike.

 

Remember, you cannot change your spouse. Your job is to pray for God to change you and to make you the spouse that God wants you to be. Changing your spouse: That is a job left only to God.