START A REVOLUTION IN YOUR MARRIAGE

It's time to get a revolution started within your marriage. If you don't start it, who will. Let God take your marriage to the next level. Raise the bar on how you treat each other, speak about each other, out serve each other, and out love each other. Inside your home as well as outside.

1. Seek God's help. When we try to do something on our own it usually does not work at all or the results are less than desired. But when we rely on God working in us we are unstoppable. Phillipians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Remember that a three cord strand is very hard to break - God First, your spouse second, and yourself third.

2. Seek your spouse's help. Yes, ask for their help. For us husbands this may be more embarrassing than asking for directions at the convenience store. Ask them to help keep you accountable to God and them.

3. Ask your Christian marriage mentors to pray for your marriage to emulate Christ's love for us - the church. If you do not have a marriage mentor, seek out a mature Christian married couple and discuss it with them.

We have to be the light of the world and we must start at home with our marriages. Well, light it up!

LOVING THE HATERS

I saw a quote this morning from George Orwell, "The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it." I completely agree with Orwell on this. It really got my mind thinking about who the real HATERS are and asking about why they hate. I believe they are people that simply cannot be happy for another's success so they try to bring them down by insults and lies. Merriam-Webster defines hate as: to feel extreme enmity toward, to have a stung aversion to, usually deriving from fear, anger or sense of injury.

Why do liberals say that Christians are haters just because we do not approve of a lifestyle outside of God's word (Homosexuality) or because we do not approve of some "free" choices (abortion)? We, as Christians, are the ones promoting God's love. But I digress.

Have you ever felt like you hated your spouse? Maybe that time when they said something that cut you to the bone or after they acted a certain way? We must remember that hatred is a feeling and our feeling can lie to us. We should always love the sinner but hate the sin. While our spouse will at times do things that we do not like, we must remember that we are commanded to love them no matter what. Husbands are given this commandment three  times in Ephesians 5:25, 28 & 33. Wives are commanded to respect their husband, Ephesians 5:22 & 33. Vs 22 says submit not respect but submission is showing respect. 

God commands us to love people. We do not get to choose who we will love and who we will not love or hate. But is it ok to hate something? Yes. We are to hate sin just as much as God hates sin. Proverbs 6:16 tells us, "There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him; haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, ^{a heart that devises wicked schemes,} feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lie and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers."

If you're asking how and why we should continue to love our spouse after they did or said that horrible thing, the answer is in Matthew 5:37-40 where Jesus gave us the Greatest Commandment: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Our spouse is our neighbor. 

When they do or say something we do not like, it is imperative to continue loving them and separate the action or word from the person. Our marriages depend on our ability to do this. If we are unable to do this our marriages will fail. The other relationships we have with people will fail also because we would be continuing to judge them and not their actions.

So, what are we to do now? Forgive our spouse for anything they have done or said that caused us harm. Forgive yourself also. (I am not saying to stay married if there is abuse) I will conquer that in another post. If abuse is in your marriage please read 1Corinthians 7, seek counseling and pray.

My version of the George Orwell quote: "The further a society drifts from God, the more it will hate God and the truth". The more our marriage drifts from God, the harder it will be to stay happily married. So, get back to God and make Him your Lord and Savior, give him your marriage, kids, work, finances, all that you have. It is all from Him anyway. And love God, your spouse and your neighbor.

Keep on loving!

DID YOU SAY SOMTHING? I WASN'T LISTENING

The greatest compliment you can give anyone, especially your spouse, is to listen when they’re speaking. But do more than just listen, hear what they are saying. Watch their body language and how they are saying it, not just what they are saying.

The greatest insult you can give anyone is when you don’t listen to them. Do you keep your eyes on the TV, computer screen, video game, texting or just look past them? Is it wait for the next timeout or commercial break? Or is it, just let me call my girlfriend back first?

How often do you give your spouse (or kids) your undivided attention? Do you put down whatever you were doing and look them in the eyes with your full attention? When we do, our actions tell them that we actually care about them and what they are saying.

The next time your spouse (or kids) are speaking to you, stop everything and give them your full attention. If it is hard at first, keep working at it and pray about it. They are the most important people in your life and they are worth the effort.