I saw a quote this morning from George Orwell, "The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it." I completely agree with Orwell on this. It really got my mind thinking about who the real HATERS are and asking about why they hate. I believe they are people that simply cannot be happy for another's success so they try to bring them down by insults and lies. Merriam-Webster defines hate as: to feel extreme enmity toward, to have a stung aversion to, usually deriving from fear, anger or sense of injury.
Why do liberals say that Christians are haters just because we do not approve of a lifestyle outside of God's word (Homosexuality) or because we do not approve of some "free" choices (abortion)? We, as Christians, are the ones promoting God's love. But I digress.
Have you ever felt like you hated your spouse? Maybe that time when they said something that cut you to the bone or after they acted a certain way? We must remember that hatred is a feeling and our feeling can lie to us. We should always love the sinner but hate the sin. While our spouse will at times do things that we do not like, we must remember that we are commanded to love them no matter what. Husbands are given this commandment three times in Ephesians 5:25, 28 & 33. Wives are commanded to respect their husband, Ephesians 5:22 & 33. Vs 22 says submit not respect but submission is showing respect.
God commands us to love people. We do not get to choose who we will love and who we will not love or hate. But is it ok to hate something? Yes. We are to hate sin just as much as God hates sin. Proverbs 6:16 tells us, "There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him; haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lie and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers."
If you're asking how and why we should continue to love our spouse after they did or said that horrible thing, the answer is in Matthew 5:37-40 where Jesus gave us the Greatest Commandment: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Our spouse is our neighbor.
When they do or say something we do not like, it is imperative to continue loving them and separate the action or word from the person. Our marriages depend on our ability to do this. If we are unable to do this our marriages will fail. The other relationships we have with people will fail also because we would be continuing to judge them and not their actions.
So, what are we to do now? Forgive our spouse for anything they have done or said that caused us harm. Forgive yourself also. (I am not saying to stay married if there is abuse) I will conquer that in another post. If abuse is in your marriage please read 1Corinthians 7, seek counseling and pray.
My version of the George Orwell quote: "The further a society drifts from God, the more it will hate God and the truth". The more our marriage drifts from God, the harder it will be to stay happily married. So, get back to God and make Him your Lord and Savior, give him your marriage, kids, work, finances, all that you have. It is all from Him anyway. And love God, your spouse and your neighbor.
Keep on loving!