If you are the one person in
the world who has never been offended, this post is not for you. However, if you
are like the other 7.7 Billion people in the world - let's see how we can work
on not being offended.
It seems everywhere we turn;
someone is getting offended over something. It does not matter whether there
was an intended or unintentional offense. I do believe some people us the term,
"I'm offended by that" in order to further their own agendas. Most
seem to be politically motivated, but what about being offended in your
marriage?
Psalm 119:165
says, “Great peace have they who love Your law; nothing shall offend them or
make them stumble.” (Amplified Bible) I believe this passage says
a lot about whether we are offended or not. If we are not offended, then we
love God’s word and we have great peace. Not just peace but great peace. Who
doesn’t want great peace in their marriage and life?
Most of the time we are offended it was not on purpose. Our spouse says or does something and we take it wrong. Before going down the bumpy road of offense, ask what they meant by their words or actions. Make sure you are not seeking to be offended. Be sure to talk and walk it out with your spouse - your marriage and kids depend on you. Your married friends are depending on you also. Iron sharpens iron.
How many times have you been offended by your spouse? How many times have you offended them? If you have been married very long it may be too many to count. The important thing to remember is to forgive 70 X 7. When Jesus said this, he did not mean to stop forgiving after the 490th time. We are to always extend forgiveness just as God has forgiven us.
We are to forgive our spouse even if they committed adultry or have been caught up in pornography? It is very hard to not dwell on the offense, whatever it was. Satan will bring the offense up to you when you lease expect it. He hates marriage and will do anything to steal, kill and destroy your marriage, family and life. Remember that we have a renewed mind in Christ. Think on the good things and do not dwell on the past hurts.
Purpose yourself to always live at peace with those around you and remember that 99% of the time when you get offended it was nothing. It was only a misunderstanding. Seek to be understood by communicating more and better with your spouse, your kids and others.
We are praying for you and your marriage. God Bless.
Most of the time we are offended it was not on purpose. Our spouse says or does something and we take it wrong. Before going down the bumpy road of offense, ask what they meant by their words or actions. Make sure you are not seeking to be offended. Be sure to talk and walk it out with your spouse - your marriage and kids depend on you. Your married friends are depending on you also. Iron sharpens iron.
How many times have you been offended by your spouse? How many times have you offended them? If you have been married very long it may be too many to count. The important thing to remember is to forgive 70 X 7. When Jesus said this, he did not mean to stop forgiving after the 490th time. We are to always extend forgiveness just as God has forgiven us.
We are to forgive our spouse even if they committed adultry or have been caught up in pornography? It is very hard to not dwell on the offense, whatever it was. Satan will bring the offense up to you when you lease expect it. He hates marriage and will do anything to steal, kill and destroy your marriage, family and life. Remember that we have a renewed mind in Christ. Think on the good things and do not dwell on the past hurts.
Purpose yourself to always live at peace with those around you and remember that 99% of the time when you get offended it was nothing. It was only a misunderstanding. Seek to be understood by communicating more and better with your spouse, your kids and others.
We are praying for you and your marriage. God Bless.
Amen! Love your words here, Steve. It is a difficult struggle in this life and in our marriages, not to be offended sometimes. But we have a Savior that forgave us, so how can we not forgive others--especially our spouses? Thanks so much for your encouragement today. I needed to be reminded of this!
ReplyDeleteThanks Beth. It's hard to imagine just how awesome God really is because we are human and live in this world.
DeleteSatan will put the stupid thoughts in our minds to try to stop our increase. The good new is that with God, all good things are increased.
God Bless,
I was just reading something similar Richard Carlson said about our thought process. Oftentimes, our feelings are just us allowing our thoughts to run amuck and has nothing to do with reality. It's so true and there's no better place to put this into practice than in marriage.
ReplyDeleteFawn, you are correct. Our marriage should aways be a safe place. Satan's lies should be cast out by both spouses.
DeleteGod Bless,
I agree that as a husband I have to show patience in many situations. When my wife says something that could be taken offensively, I always stop and think about the root of her comment. Is she frustrated with me because of something I did (or didn't do)? Is she upset with the children?
ReplyDeleteThis way I'm able to let many things roll off my shoulders.
My question is this: Where is the line between being patient and being a doormat?
http://genuinehusband.blogspot.com/
Right there with you, TB. There are certainly many offenses at things said, that can just be overlooked in the name of maintaining peace & harmony in a relationship. But at what point, does one have to ask the other to be accountable for their destructiveness... that critical & accusatory, or just plain hurtful words, negative & attacking tones take? Or just as damaging... the non-verbals, like rolling of eyes, uttering "humph" in front of the kids, or muttering under breath while walking away? Or escalating to physical violence & threats? These kinds of things are not done out of love. And certainly do not convey respect. While we are to mutually submit to one another, and as husbands called to live with our wives in an understanding manner... I do not believe God intends for us to be doormats to such abuse. I also believe that a woman acting in this manner probably carries many scars from past hurts, that merely "sneezing" on can provoke such a hurt feeling in them & unleash feelings of anger & hate. Likely too, is the absence of a Godly example of marriage, a lifetime of programming from parents or society about what is acceptable behind closed doors. And a false picture of what love is "ideally expected" to look like. But I also believe, God's grace can overcome all of that... that He can bring beauty from ashes & brokenness, in His timing... if we are willing to submit to His will.
DeleteWell said Anonymous. In our marriage and life, we must talk and walk it out with our spouse. Great communication is key for this to work.
DeleteNo one wants to be a doormat, especially since we are to be honored by our wife. However, we must love her like Christ loves us. Always be the example of Christ in our marriage and to others.
God Bless