Oct 31st - Celebrate Reformation Day!

Did you know that today, October 31, is one of the most significant dates in church history? No, I’m not talking about Halloween—I’m talking about Reformation Day! You probably won’t see neighborhood kids going door-to-door dressed like Martin Luther or Ulrich Zwingli tonight, but these men and their fellow reformers made a huge and lasting impact on the way that evangelical Christians understand and approach Scripture.

The Protestant Reformation was shaped by many people over many years, but came into focus when a monk named Martin Luther nailed his famous 95 theses to the door of the Wittenberg church in 1517. Luther was a Catholic priest who was upset at the widespread corruption he observed within the ecclesiarchy, most notably the sale of “indulgences” that promised postmortem forgiveness of sins for deceased loved ones.

 

Outside Luther’s Germany, similar “protest” movements were helmed by people like John Calvin, Ulrich Zwingli, and John Knox. Beyond protesting corruption in the church, the emerging “protestant” movement challenged many of the theological teachings of the Roman Catholic church. The reformers believed that Scripture alone—not human traditions or the rulings of a church—held complete authority for Christians (see “sola scriptura”), and that salvation was a free gift of God that could not be earned by good deeds. The widespread publication and distribution of Bibles—indeed, the fact that all of us can afford and freely read the Bible ourselves—is one of the most enduring legacies of the Reformation.

 

The century following the Protestant Reformation was a chaotic and violent time, but the reform movements survived to form the basis of today’s Protestant denominations. Protestants owe a debt of gratitude to the many reformers who risked (and in some cases, lost) their lives rebuilding the church. And non-Protestant Christians can appreciate the reformers for confronting corruption in the church, even if they don’t agree with all of Protestant theology. So today, pause for a few minutes amidst the Halloween festivities to remember this pivotal moment in church history.

 

From BibleGateway:

http://www.biblegateway.com/blog/2012/10/celebrate-reformation-day/?utm_source=SilverpopMailing&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=BG%20News%2010312012%20(1)&utm_content=

PUT A NUMBER ON THAT DOOR!

What is it about having a number on the outside of a door that makes us act like we are honeymooning again? What is so special about a little number on the door? You know – the number – on the outside of the door at the hotel. Is it that you are in an unusual location? Is it not having all the clutter in the bedroom? Is it that you are not worried your kids will not hear you from the next room? Whatever the reason, it’s time to start acting the same way at home. Why not?

 

Some people will act and say things from behind a door with a number on it that they would never even think of saying at their home while having sex with their spouse. I am not suggesting going (porn) here, just live it up a little more. Just read the Song of Solomon and see how much God wants us to enjoy each other.

 

So, put the number on the door or a Do Not Disturb sign and bring back those honeymoon feelings?

HELP! MY SPOUSE DOESN’T WANT A BETTER MARRIAGE

So, you think your spouse does not want a better marriage while you want a marriage made in Heaven. You believe your spouse doesn’t see the need for any changes to your current situation. At least that may be what you are thinking. Chances are that your spouse is just complacent with the way things are. They may not believe things need to change because they are happy with the way things are currently. Marriages only coast downhill. They take work to go uphill with both spouses helping each other.

 

How many things do you want to change? One, ten, everything? The first thing to ask may be why do you believe things need to change? Secondly, why do you believe your spouse does not want a better marriage? Have they told you they don’t want your marriage to get better? (If so, know we are praying for your marriage.) If you want a better marriage so the two of you are showing your kids and the world God’s love you are one the right track. As a married couple we are to emulate Jesus, our groom, to others. But, if you want a better marriage out of selfish reasons you need to re-evaluate your heart and motive on this one.

 

Where do we go from here? Let’s try a few new things. It may be painful at first since the new things will stretch us out of our comfort zone but the rewards are plentiful.

 

If you want your husband to help with the housework try doing the housework naked. (Obviously, your husband will need to be in the house for this to work) Ok, not if kids are around and only with the blinds closed. Your spouse is the only one ever allowed to see you naked. Yes, a guy is writing this but I hope you see the benefits of this. While fatigue is your number one reason for a lack of sex, it is the number one reason for men also. We are just too busy of a nation. Find ways to relax together and enjoy God's peace.

 

If you want more sex try doing the housework for her. Do the dishes, vacuum the floors, do the laundry – including putting the clothes up and/or cook supper. How about helping the kids with their homework, bathing them and tucking them into bed while your wife relaxes with a Calgon bubble bath or reading a good book? Fatigue is the number one reason for a lack of sex. A survey by Paul at The Marriage Bed “Why wives say no to sex, and what a man can do about it” can be found here http://bit.ly/UtNx6H Paul also says, “So, if you want more sex, your number one job is to find a way for your bride to get more rest and better sleep. Nothing else will have as much of an effect, and for most women nothing else can have an effect until the exhaustion issue is resolved.”

 

The main thing to remember in your marriage is that your marriage is not about you. It is about serving your spouse. Jesus said He came to serve not be served. All of us are to be Christlike.

 

Remember, you cannot change your spouse. Your job is to pray for God to change you and to make you the spouse that God wants you to be. Changing your spouse: That is a job left only to God.

VOTING TOGETHER – SETTING A BIBLICAL EXAMPLE FOR OUR KIDS

Some of you may be asking – Vote together? We hardly do anything together any more. Why on earth would we vote together? I’m glad you asked. Let me explain why we should vote together and take our kids with us. I know some will say that we should not mix church and state. If you believe that then how on earth do you separate your Christian walk from your everyday life? We cannot do that, it is impossible. We cannot be part time Christians – In Revelation 3:16 Jesus told the church in Laodicea, “So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” We must take a stand.

 

Back to being the example for our kids, think on these points:

1.     Who else will show them how the voting process works?

2.     We have a choice, our vote, in who we want to lead us and our children. We must be the leader and show our kids how to properly choose Christian leaders.

3.     As parents it is our God given duty to raise them up in His ways. 

 

God created government to protect our freedoms so we can spread the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. By hearing God’s word and praying for our country, we can lead a quiet and peaceable life which will enable us to spread the gospel.

 

1Timothy 2:1-2 states: “I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.”

 

Satan is working through our government, government agencies, the ACLU, atheists, secular humanism, etc. to stop Christians from spreading the gospel by either limiting or eliminating our liberties.

 

How can we stop this?

1.     Spread the gospel

2.     Pray for our leaders to lead with a Christian example.

3.     Register ourselves, our kids and our church to vote. It is legal to hand out voter registration cards at church.

4. Hand out Christian Voter Guides at church and to your friends and family. Yes, this is legal also.

5.   Vote our Christian convictions

Christian voting patterns from 1992 – 2000 were dismal to say the least. There was a 40% decrease in Christians who voted. In the 2002 election, following the dramatic drop in 1992-2000, national evangelical leaders widely urged Christians to register, vote, and vote their values. The national efforts showed a 2% increase in Christian voter turnout which resulted in dramatic improvements. We, as Christians, are to shape and transform culture. Our light is to shine before others so that they may see our good works and give glory to God. Christians are to be transformers of society, salt of the earth and the light of the world. God does not want us to just get saved and then sit on a pew, sing our bless me songs and not be engaged in this world.

 

Nationwide, approximately one-half of Christians who are eligible to vote are registered. Only one-half of registered Christians actually vote. This means only 25% of eligible Christians actually vote. If that number was increased by only 10%, Christians would be elected to virtually every office in America.

 

It is not only our duty, but our honor to vote and to vote for Christians. Proverbs 29:2 says, “When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice: but when the wicked beareth rule, the people mourn.” Well then, do we want to rejoice or do we want to mourn? It is our choice.

 

As citizens of earth, as well as of heaven, we cannot complain about the political leaders we have, or the decisions they make, unless we are willing to elect men and women of integrity who support policies that restrain evil and reinforce goodness. For Christians to make a difference in this world, as salt and light, they need to be involved in the political process, both by voting and by encouraging qualified men and women to enter the vocation of politics.

 

We cannot escape by simply pointing out the imperfections of our leaders, we must act! Tweet This > http://clicktotweet.com/9e5JE

 

Our calling in this world is not to wait for the perfect candidate to be placed on the ticket, but to pick our way through the thicket of flaws we find in a Genesis 3 world by walking in wisdom and voting for imperfect candidates who best reflect a biblical worldview.

 

Political decisions affect every aspect of our lives from taxation to issues such as stem-cell research, abortion, marriage, the family, war and economic policies. God has commanded us to “seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find welfare” (Jer. 29:7).

 

The apostle Paul writes: “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way” (1 Tim. 2:1-2).

 

Praying for the welfare of our city and for our leaders is being involved in politics. If Christians would spend more time praying to our Father in heaven with broken hearts rather than murmuring and criticizing our political leaders while failing to pray for them, we could see God transform this nation.

 

We, as Christians are to be a positive, godly influence in their communities. When you walk into the voting booth, the kingdom of God will not be on the ballot. However, there will be electoral choices that significantly impact the common good. And your choices are important. May you enter the voting booth and make your selections for the glory of God and the good of your fellow man.

 

My Prayer:

Father, give us leaders after Your heart! A time like this demands strong minds, great hearts, true faith and ready hands; leaders whom the lust of office does not kill; leaders whom the spoils of office cannot buy; leaders who possess your opinions and will; leaders who have honor; leaders who will not lie; leaders who does not use false claims and promises in order to gain power, and can withstand the treacherous flatteries without winking!

 

Father, give us Christian leaders who are not afraid to stand up for you. Leaders who will do the right thing when the wrong thing will benefit them. We thank You that we live in a Christian nation.

 

Father, we thank you that we and our leaders have your supernatural wisdom and the ability to make the right decisions every time. Father, you said the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, so we thank you that you are guiding our steps and our leaders’ steps.

 

Father, I thank you that our leaders are strong in the power of Your might and well able to do what you have called them to do. You tell us in Micah 4:5 that “All the nations may walk in the name of their gods; we will walk in the name of the LORD our God for ever and ever.” Lord, we thank you that we walk in Your name.

 

In Isaiah 33:22 you tell us that “You are our judge, our lawgiver, our king and only You can save us.” Help us to always seek you when we enter the voting booth to elect Christian leaders and help us to encourage those who we elect.

 

Father I pray for our government officials to recognize Your authority and rely on You for wisdom, for our country to stand strong on the principles of our Judeo-Christian, and that our leaders will make wise decisions rather than succumbing to special interest groups.

 

Father I pray Isaiah 1:26 over our leaders. You said, “I will restore your leaders as in days of old, your rulers as at the beginning. Afterward you will be called the City of Righteousness, the Faithful City.”

 

We pray this in Jesus’ name.

 

Amen

The Test for an Unfaithful Wife or The Jealous Husband

I believe every spouse has at least a hint of jealousy in them. We are made in the image of God and He is a jealous God. Exodus 34:14, “Do not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.” 

The test is given in Numbers 5:11-30. It is a longer read than I like to give in my posts but it is important to get the entire picture.

Numbers 5:11-30, ¹¹ Then the Lord said to Moses, ¹² “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘If a man’s wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him ¹³ by sleeping with another man, and this is hidden from her husband and her impurity is undetected (since there is no witness against her and she has not been caught in the act), ¹⁴ and if feelings of jealousy come over her husband and he suspects his wife and she is impure—or if he is jealous and suspects her even though she is not impure— ¹⁵ then he is to take his wife to the priest. He must also take an offering of a tenth of an ephah of barley flour on her behalf. He must not pour oil on it or put incense on it, because it is a grain offering for jealousy, a reminder offering to draw attention to guilt. ¹⁶ “‘The priest shall bring her and have her stand before the Lord. ¹⁷ Then he shall take some holy water in a clay jar and put some dust from the tabernacle floor into the water. ¹⁸ After the priest has had the woman stand before the Lord, he shall loosen her hair and place in her hands the reminder offering, the grain offering for jealousy, while he himself holds the bitter water that brings a curse. ¹⁹ Then the priest shall put the woman under oath and say to her, “If no other man has slept with you and you have not gone astray and become impure while married to your husband, may this bitter water that brings a curse not harm you. ²⁰ But if you have gone astray while married to your husband and you have defiled yourself by sleeping with a man other than your husband”— ²¹ here the priest is to put the woman under this curse of the oath—“may the Lord cause your people to curse and denounce you when he causes your thigh to waste away and your abdomen to swell. ²² May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells and your thigh wastes away.” “‘Then the woman is to say, “Amen. So be it.”

²³ “‘The priest is to write these curses on a scroll and then wash them off into the bitter water. ²⁴ He shall have the woman drink the bitter water that brings a curse, and this water will enter her and cause bitter suffering. ²⁵ The priest is to take from her hands the grain offering for jealousy, wave it before the Lord and bring it to the altar. ²⁶ The priest is then to take a handful of the grain offering as a memorial offering and burn it on the altar; after that, he is to have the woman drink the water. ²⁷ If she has defiled herself and been unfaithful to her husband, then when she is made to drink the water that brings a curse, it will go into her and cause bitter suffering; her abdomen will swell and her thigh waste away, and she will become accursed among her people. ²⁸ If, however, the woman has not defiled herself and is free from impurity, she will be cleared of guilt and will be able to have children.

²⁹ “‘This, then, is the law of jealousy when a woman goes astray and defiles herself while married to her husband, ³⁰ or when feelings of jealousy come over a man because he suspects his wife. The priest is to have her stand before the Lord and is to apply this entire law to her. ³¹ The husband will be innocent of any wrongdoing, but the woman will bear the consequences of her sin.’”

In Verse 14 the King James calls it a Spirit of Jealousy whether the wife is guilty or innocent. What an awful way to be treated as a bride. Sounds like something we would hear about from the Middle East. 

It is important to note that there is NO test for the husband. Why? If we see the true nature of God it is revealed. Our husband is Jesus and he will never be an adulteress to us, the church, His bride. We, as husbands, are to act as Jesus does to us to our own bride. We, as the church and the bride of Christ, are to act accordingly to Jesus. I believe, no, I know, that if we acted as we are taught in Ephesians 5 and love our spouse as in the Song of Solomon our world would be much better. Our children would see the true example of God's love for us.

As far as the test in Numbers 5, let's not give our spouse any reason to have us drink the bitter water from that cup.

Our love for God is tested, but not His love for us!

OVERCOMING TEMPTATION IN MARRIAGE

I know, you are thinking this post is more relevant to men (husbands). However, recent research has shown that more women than ever are caught up in porn, emotional affairs and physical affairs. Whether you are a husband or a wife, temptation will eventually come knocking. The Bible is clear that to be tempted is common. Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

A friend of ours runs our local Pregnancy Crisis Center told me, when she started there 10 years ago 90% of those seeking their help were young, unmarried girls. Over the years the demographics have changed to the point where up to 40% of those seeking their help currently are married women in their 30’s. I was stunned to hear this news. Unfortunately, these women did not run from being tempted and are now pregnant and are being tempted to abort their baby. Psalm 139:16 tells us "You saw me before I was born." My sister and I are both adopted so this is a subject that hits close to home for me. 

The word temptation appears only twelve (12) times in the (NIV 1984) Bible. Nine (9) of those times are in the Gospels. The first mention of temptation is mentioned when Satan is tempting Jesus in Matthew 4:1-3, “Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil.” After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” It is interesting that Satan is referred to as “the tempter”. Jesus said Satan is the father of lies and that Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy. “The thief (Satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10 Satan knows that if he can get you to move beyond the temptation and take a bite of the apple, so to speak, you will be falling into sin which moves us further from God. 

Let me be very clear on something. Being tempted is not sinning. If it was a sin to be tempted then Jesus would have sinned and he did not sin, he lived a perfect life. If you are still unsure then let’s reread Matthew 4:1-3 “Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil.” 

If you are thinking about cheating on your spouse, don’t do it! I will give several reasons not to.

• It is a sin. Flee fornication.
• You gave a vow to God and your spouse that you would remain faithful to them.
• Sexually transmitted diseases that will not go away and AIDS is deadly.
• Someone else may end up raising your kids.
• If divorce happens, it will effect your children and grand children for generations.
• The guilt from the affair.
• Sexual sin the the only sin that effects the body, mind & your spirit.

It's tough to get a handle on how many of us are having affairs, given the inherent secrecy. Here are a few of the statistics I could find:

• 22 percent of married men have strayed at least once during their married lives. 
• 14 percent of married women have had affairs at least once during their married lives. 
• Younger people are more likely candidates; in fact, younger women are as likely as younger men to be unfaithful. 
• 70 percent of married women and 54 percent of married men did not know of their spouses' extramarital activity. 
• 5 percent of married men and 3 percent of married women reported having sex with someone other than their spouse in the 1997. 
• 22 percent of men and 14 percent of women admitted to having sexual relations outside their marriage sometime in their past. 
• 90 percent of Americans believe adultery is morally wrong. 
• 50 percent of Americans say President Clinton's adultery makes his moral standard "about the same as the average married man,'' according to a Time-CNN poll. 
• 61 percent of Americans thought adultery should not be a crime in the United states; 35 percent thought it should; 4 percent had no opinion. 
• 17 percent of divorces in the United States are caused by infidelity. 

Source: Associated Press

If you are around someone that causes your mind to wonder, stop being around them. Change jobs, restaurants whatever you must do too not be around that person any longer.

Remember the story of Joseph and Potiphar’s Wife from Genesis 39? Joseph ran out of the house leaving his cloak. This is how we are to act when the temptress tries to lure us into their web of deceit and lies. RUN!

The books Every Man's Battle and Every Woman's Battle are great tools to help get your mind where it needs to be when temptation tries to show up. Seek professional help to deal with the battle in your head. Pray for God to give you the courage to do the right thing in all situations.

How did Jesus overcome Satan each time? Jesus spoke God’s Word back to him. We have the ability to do the same. Jesus gave us authority over Satan and his demons in Mark 16:17-18. Satan was defeated when Jesus was resurrected from the grave. Hallelujah!

DON'T LOOK BACK

If you are spending your life looking back over your shoulder at your old life wondering what it could have been if things were different, then you are not looking to the One who will guide your every step perfectly. When God tells us what to do and especially when to do something we must do it in his timing. The windshield in your car is much bigger than your rear view mirror for a good reason. We would never drive our car while looking in the rear view mirror so why spend your life continuing to look back at the past. If we continue to look back and think on the old things our mind will not be set on the things we must do to make our current life better.

Lot and his wife from Genesis 19 are the perfect example of why to not look back. Yes, both of them, not just Lot’s wife. Verse 16 gives us the example, “When he hesitated, the men grasped his hand and the hands of his wife and of his two daughters and led them safely out of the city, for the Lord was merciful to them.” Does the Bible really say Lot hesitated? Why would Lot hesitate? He was the leader of their home. Was it because they didn’t want to leave, they liked their home and friends? Had Lot and his family grown attached to the things around them. Don’t forget they were in a wicked city. Most of us just think of Lot’s wife looking back over her shoulder and turning into a pillar of salt for her disobedience. What would have happened had the angels not grabbed their hands to lead them out of Sodom? They all would have perished with those left in the city.

We must remember that it was after Lot and his daughters reached Zoar, their safety when Lot’s wife looked back. She looked back when she was almost to the place God set aside for them to be safe. The running and hardships were over. Even when our hardships are over we must continue to keep looking forward. In Matthew 6:24, Jesus said, “You cannot serve God and mammon … no one can serve two masters” Lot’s wife wanted her old way of living in her new city. She wanted to serve two masters – her old ways and God’s ways. When Satan reminds you of your past – remind him of his future. We must keep a renewed mind, and change our stinking thinking.

In verses 17-20 we see that Lot had a faith flaw. “As soon as they had brought them out, one of them said, “Flee for your lives! Don’t look back, and don’t stop anywhere in the plain! Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away!” But Lot said to them, “No, my lords, please! Your servant has found favor in your eyes, and you have shown great kindness to me in sparing my life. But I can’t flee to the mountains; this disaster will overtake me, and I’ll die. Look, here is a town near enough to run to, and it is small. Let me flee to it—it is very small, isn’t it? Then my life will be spared.” Lot did not have the faith that he could run to the mountains until he feared for his family’s life in Zoar. His faith was only for a very small town. How big is your faith? Have the faith to take your mountain.

 

When God is leading us to our safety we must keep our faith in Him and not look back. If God tells us to let go of something we must do it for our own good. We can’t look back and hold on. “Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:20-21

 

As the Spiritual leader of our home, we must lead our family in God’s will and timing. We need more husbands who will step up, lead and say: “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15).

GETTING THE BONFIRE BACK IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Oh, the feelings that mesmerized us when we were dating, got engaged and the first years of marriage. The feelings of joy, happiness, relief, pleasure, gladness, and ecstasy were running wild in our hearts. We believed life would be perfect from that day forward. We would never have any problems in our marriage. We will never fall out of love. We knew we would never argue over finances, kids, work or sex. Nothing and no one would ever make us believe otherwise. Heaven on earth has arrived!

Little did we know what really happens in marriage is that two totally different people are being forged into one. We knew that men and women are different physically but the emotional differences are as wide and deep as the Grand Canyon. Sometimes one spouse does not like the fact that their independence is now being threatened. They want their old independence back but still want to be married. This can lead to resentment of the other spouse and depression.

But how do we get the fire back we had when we first got married? Let me start with an analogy. If you build a bonfire in your back yard there will be a large flame at first. As the bonfire continues to burn it will end up as red hot coals. These coals are much hotter than the large flames that you saw just after you started the bonfire. These red hot coals are how our marriages were designed to be as we matured, physically and mentally. While the flames may not still be there know that the red hot coals will continue as long as you put more wood on the fire.

What is the wood in your marriage to keep the coals burning red hot? Sex. You are probably thinking; a husband must be writing this. You are correct, but why not read what Kate at One Flesh Marriage has to say about sex as the glue in marriage. It is a great article and from a wife. Take a few minutes and you can read it here - http://www.onefleshmarriage.com/2011/11/sex-glue.html I know it sounds corny to say that sex is the glue and the way to a marriage with red hot coals, but it is the truth. You may not remember the song from 1975, “Love Will Keep Us Together” by Captain & Tennille, but the title is true. Just read the Song of Solomon to see how God designed sex to keep us together.

While most surveys state that sex usually takes 15 minutes or less it is a very important 15 minutes. If time is the reason try looking at it this way. 15 minutes is 1% of your 24 hour day. Out of the 168 hours in a week it is only .0015% of your time. And you said you don’t have time for sex with your spouse. We make time for the important things in our lives. If you are making time for work, kids, exercise, and things other than your spouse, you are sending a signal to them that they are not as important as these things. Are they more important than your spouse? Are you really ok with sex not happening in your marriage? God does not think so. Just read 1 Corinthians 7:5. God said it is only ok if you are praying and fasting. See my post about it  here http://marriagefire.blogspot.com/2012/10/but-i-dont-want-to-fast.html

But where did the feelings go and how can we get them back? Start by spending time with each other. That means scheduling some quality time together. It may mean getting a sitter for the kids and leaving the dog at a kennel for a day or two. Yes, a day or two. Longer if you have the time and money. Oops, there is that word again – time. If money is an issue, ask a couple from church to watch your kids for the night or weekend and you can return the favor for them. Then use that time to talk and use open and honest communication and to make love. You want the red hot coals don’t you?

STOP GOING AROUND THE MOUNTAIN

The shortest distance between two places is a straight line. The problem usually lies in the fact that many of us will not take the straight line. We get in our own way in making our life and marriage better. We wonder from place to place or person to person seeking our perfect marriage. We listen to too many voices and do not listen to God's voice (The Holy Spirit) when He speaks to us.

 

The children of Israel went around the same mountain range for 40 years before getting to the Promise Land. If they had traveled in a straight line it would have been an 11 day journey. An entire generation had to die off before they could go in. So what went wrong? Their lack of faith, then continuing to murmur and complaining kept them from achieving what God had for their lives. They were not far from Egypt when they cried out to Moses to take them back so they would not starve. The Israelites believed it was better to remain slaves in Egypt with adequate food than be on a tough journey to the place God set aside for them. They murmured and complained about the lack of food and then complained about the food itself. Their faith was not there when they gathered up more than one days supply of food - the bread worms came and at the excess food.

 

So, what is the more excellent way for your marriage? Love. The kind of love that God has for us and the same love we are to have for our bride. In 1 Corinthians 12:31, Paul says, "But eagerly desire the greater gifts. And now I will show you the most excellent way." Paul has just described the Spiritual Gift from the Holy Spirit and then how it takes each of us to do the entire work God has laid out. It is no coincidence that the Love chapter, 1 Corinthians 13, is sandwiched between two chapters where Paul gives introduction and instruction on the Spiritual Gifts. We must use them in our marriage every day. "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8. It is impossible for us to meet the conditions of the day, to "walk in the light as He is in the light" 1 John 1:7, to subdue kingdoms and work righteousness and bind the power of Satan, unless we are filled with the Holy Spirit.

 

Your marriage is a journey to God’s Promise Land. Your marriage is to be a reflection of Jesus’ love for us. We must love our spouse even during the most difficult days of our marriage. Remember, love is an active choice, an action. A conjunction junction if you will. (Yes, from the old Saturday morning cartoons) It connects us to our spouse in the way God designed. Yes, there will be days, or maybe several in a row, when our spouse is "unlovable". Our spouses loving or unloving actions do not give us the right to stop loving them. That is when we are to love them even more. Put more actions in effect during these trying times.

 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 tells us what love is. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." We need to remember that God is love. You can read these scriptures aloud and say God instead of love and you still have the truth. There have been times in my marriage when I was not one or more of these towards my bride. I asked her to forgive me and I asked God to forgive me and help me not do them again. It will work for you too. With His power upon you there can be no failure. God desires that His Word will be established in our hearts; and, as we believe His Word, we will see that "all thing are possible" Matthew 19:26.

 

Many marriages are in the midst of a great river of life but are dying of thirst because they do not dip down and take it. It's time to jump into the deep end of the river and have faith in God to restore and renew your marriage.

PRAYING FOR OUR BRIDE

As husbands, we are the Spiritual leaders of our family. Just as Jesus prayed for His disciples in the garden we should pray over our wife. There are several subjects in this prayer and there are days that God leads me to just one. I have started asking Dianne if there is anything specific she wants me to pray about for her. If what she asks about is not in this prayer, God leads me in how to pray for her that day. If you are not up to asking this question yet, just ask God and He will lead you in what to pray about for your bride on that day. This prayer is from "The Power of a Praying Husband" by Stormie Omartian. I want to thank her for helping me stay focused about praying for Dianne, my bride.

 

Lord, create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Show me where my attitude and thoughts are not what you would have them to be, especially toward Dianne.  Convict me when I am being unforgiving.  Help me to let go of any anger that confusion will not have a place in my mind.  If there is behavior in me that needs to change, enable me to make changes that last.  Whatever you reveal to me, I will confess to you as sin.  Make me a man after your own heart.  Enable me to be the head of my home and family that you created me to be.  Lord, show me how to really cover Dianne in prayer.  Enable me to love her the way that you do.  Convict my heart when I don’t live your way.

 

Lord, as much as I love Dianne, I know you love her more.  I pray that you will give Dianne the fulfillment of knowing you in a deeper and richer way than she ever has before.  Help her to be diligent and steadfast in her walk with you, never doubting or wavering.  Make her strong in spirit and give her an ever-increasing faith that always believes that you will answer her prayers.  Help her to increase her knowledge of you.  Give her discernment and revelation and enable her to hear your voice instructing her.  I pray that Dianne will find new life in you today and enjoy your blessings poured out upon her.  Help her to trust you with all her heart and not depend on her own understanding.

 

Lord, protect Dianne from the author of lies and help her to cast down “every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”  Give her discernment about what she receives into her mind.  I pray she will quickly identify lies about herself, her life or her future.  May she turn to you rather than give place to negative, upsetting, evil or disturbing thoughts.  Help me not to react inappropriately or withdraw from my wife emotionally when I don’t understand her.  Please restore her soul, heal her broken heartedness, and bind up her wounds.  Make her to be secure in your love and mine.  Take away all fear, doubt, and discouragement, and give her clarity, joy and peace.

 

Lord, I pray that you will help Dianne to be the best mother to our children that she can be.  Guide her as she makes decisions regarding each child.  By the authority you have given me, as a believer as well as a husband and father, I ask you to break any rebellion or area of disobedience that would erect a stronghold in our children.  Lord, I know we cannot successfully raise our children without you.  So I ask that you would take the burden of raising them from us and partner with us to bring them up.  Give Dianne and me patience, strength and your knowledge to train, teach, discipline and care for each child.  Establish an environment where our Christian beliefs are on constant display before our children.  Help us to better schedule our time with our children.  Give us discernment about what we allow into our home through TV, books, movies, video games, magazines and computer activities.  I also ask you for the gifts of intelligence, strength, talent and godliness to be in our children.  Keep them safe from any accident, disease or evil influence.  I pray that Dianne will find fulfillment, contentment and joy as a mother and wife, while never loosing sight of who she is in you.

 

Lord, I pray for Dianne and ask that you would calm her spirit, soothe her soul and give her peace today.  Where there is error in her thinking, I pray you would reveal it to her and set her back on course.  Balance her body perfectly so that she is not carried up and down like a roller coaster.  Give her inner tranquility that prevails no matter what is going on around her.  Show me how to convince her that I love her, and help me to be able to demonstrate it in ways she can perceive.  Lord, I know that you have “called us to peace”.  Help us both hear that call and live in the peace that passes all understanding.

 

Lord, I pray that you would establish in me and Dianne bonds of love that cannot be broken.  Show me how to love her in an ever-deepening way that she can clearly perceive.  I ask that you give Dianne and me agape love for each other.  May we have mutual respect and admiration for each other so that we become and remain one another’s greatest friend, champion and unwavering supporter.  Where love has been diminished, lost, destroyed or buried under hurt and disappointment, put it back in our hearts.  Enable Dianne and me to forgive each other quickly and completely.  Help us to be kind to one another, tenderhearted and forgiving, the way you are to us.  Where we are in disagreement and this has caused strife, I pray you would draw us together on the issues.  Make our communication open and honest so that we would avoid misunderstandings.  Teach us to seek each other’s well-being first.  I pray that we will not live two separate lives, but will instead walk together as a team.  Lord, protect our marriage from anything that would destroy it.  Take out of our lives anyone who would come between us or temp us.  Help us to immediately recognize and resist temptation when it presents itself.  Sever all unholy ties in both of our lives.  May there never be any adultery or divorce in our future to destroy what You, Lord, have put together.

 

Lord, I submit myself to you today.  Lead me as I lead my family.  Help me to make all decisions based on your revelation and guidance.  As I submit my leadership to you, enable Dianne to fully trust that you are leading me.  Help us to understand the kind of submission you want from us.  Enable me to be the leader you want me to be.  Help me to love her the way you love me, so that I will gain her complete respect and love.  Help us to submit to one another in your fear.  Lord, help us to also use our testimony to share our relationship with you and bring others to you.

 

Lord, I pray for Dianne to have good, strong, healthy relationships with godly women.  Take away any relationship that will not bear good fruit.  I also pray for good relationships with our entire family.  I pray for resolution of any in-law relationships for either of us.  Lord, please protect our parents and extended family.  Show me what I can do to make a positive difference.  Lord, I pray that Dianne will always be a forgiving person.  Even if she doesn’t feel like it at the moment, help her to forgive out of obedience to you.  Show her that forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right, it makes her free.  I especially pray that here would be no unforgiveness between us.  Enable us to forgive each other quickly and completely.

 

Lord, I lift up to Dianne to you today and ask that you would be in charge of her life.  Show her how to seek you first in all things, and to make time with you her first priority every day.  Show her how to find balance between being a wife, mother, running our home, working, serving in your church and finding time for herself so that she can be rested and refreshed.  Lord, I pray that you would help Dianne to make our home a peaceful sanctuary.  Regardless of our financial state, give her the knowledge, energy, strength, vision and clarity of mind to transform our home into a beautiful place of refuge that brings joy to each of us.  I ask you to lift her from the burden of caring for our home and give her peace about it.  Show me how I can encourage and help her in that.  Holy Spirit, I invite you to fill our home with your peace, truth, love and unity.

 

Lord, I pray that you would give Dianne the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in your sight.  Help her to appreciate the beauty you have put in her.  Help me to remember to encourage her and speak words that will make her feel beautiful.  Where anyone in her past has convinced her that she is unattractive and less than you made her to be, I pray that you would replace those lies with your truth.  Convince her of how valuable she is to you; so that I will be better able to convince her of how valuable she is to me.  Help me to always have Dianne as the standard of beauty and to stay passionate about her.  Make Dianne beautiful in every way, and may everyone else see the beauty of your image reflected in her.

 

Lord, I pray that you would bless Dianne today, and especially bless our marriage and our sexual relationship.  Help us to be unselfish and understanding toward each other.  Teach us to show affection to each other in ways that keep romance and desire alive between us.  Show me if I ever hurt her, and help me to apologize in a way that will cause her to forgive me completely.  Any time we have an argument or a breakdown in communication, enable us to get over it quickly and come back together physically so no room is made for the devil to work.  Make our sexual relationship fulfilling, enjoyable, freeing and refreshing for both of us.  May our intimacy bond the two of us together and connect our hearts and emotions as well as our bodies.  Keep our hearts always faithful.  Take out of our lives anyone or anything that would cause temptation.  Lord, give Dianne and me the strength to remain sexually pure in your eyes.  Where there has been unfaithfulness in thought or deed on the part of either of us, I pray for full repentance, cleansing and release from it.    Keep us free from anything that would cause us to neglect this vital area of our lives.  Renew and revitalize our sexual relationship, and make it all you created it to be.

 

Lord, I pray that you would help Dianne be anxious for nothing.  Set her free from any fear and comfort her today.  Teach me to recognize the ploy of the enemy every time he tries to steal life from her by bringing fear to torment her.  I stand against any enemy attacks targeted at my wife, and I say that a spirit of fear will have no place in her life.  Strengthen her faith in You, Lord, to be her Defender.  Enable Dianne to rise up and say, “The Lord is my light and salvation; whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”  Help her to separate herself from that which tempts her.  I say to Dianne that “no temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God if faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”  Lord, enable my wife to endure temptation and receive the crown of life which you have promised to those who love you.  Help her to wait upon you instead of waiting for things to change.

 

Lord, I know that you have placed within Dianne special gifts and talents that are to be used for your purpose and your glory.  Show her what they are, and show me too, Lord, that I may encourage her.  I pray that you would give her understanding that your plan for her life has a specific and perfect timing.  Lord, I pray that Dianne will be the wife you have called her to be and the wife I need her to be.  Bring her into alignment with your ultimate purpose for her life, and may she be fulfilled in it.  Lord, grant my wife according to her heart’s desire, and fulfill her purpose.

 

Lord, I pray that you would give Dianne the ability to trust me in all things.  Most of all, I want her to trust Your Holy Spirit working in and through me.  Where I have not been trustworthy or have violated her trust, show me, and I will confess that before you as sin.  Help me to not conduct myself that way anymore.  Where she has lost trust in me unjustly, I pray that you would help her to see the truth.  If she doesn’t trust me because of something someone else has done to her, help her forgive that person so she can be free.  In any place where we have broken trust with each other, help us to establish it as strong.  Break any unholy bonds or soul ties between us and any other person.  Help us to fully repent of all relationships outside of our own that were not glorified to you.  Lord, I pray that you would deepen my trust and love of Dianne.  I pray that she will always be a trustworthy person and that I will be able to trust her completely.  I say this day on behalf of my wife and me that you are our refuge and our fortress.  You are our God, and in you will we trust.

 

Lord, I pray that you would surround Dianne with Your hand of protection.  Keep her safe from any accidents, diseases or evil influences.  Protect her in cars, planes or wherever she is.  Protect her from the plans of evil people.  I pray that Dianne will make her refuge “in the shadow of your wings” until “these calamities have passed by”.  Lord, I pray that you would help Dianne to truly see that her body is your dwelling place.  May she acknowledge you in all her ways – including the care of her body – so that you can direct her paths.  Let no weapon formed against my wife be able to prosper.  Keep her at all times under the umbrella of your protection, and deliver her from the enemy’s hand so no evil comes near her.  Thank you, Lord, that this day You will cover Dianne and help her to lie down in peace, and sleep; for You alone, O Lord, make her to dwell in safety.

 

Lord, I pray that you would touch Dianne this day and fulfill her deepest desires.  Help her to surrender her dreams to you so that you can bring to life the ones you have placed in her heart.  Lord, I pray that in the midst of all my wife has to do; there would be time for what she enjoys most.  Show me how to encourage her to prioritize her time for the things she enjoys.  I pray we will have common interests we can enjoy together.  Lord, I know that you would not give us dreams that are not compatible.  I pray that the desires of our hearts will be perfectly knitted together.

 

Lord, I pray that you would help Dianne to be successful in her work.  No matter what her work is at any given time, establish it, and help her to find favor.  Continue to reveal, develop and refine those gifts and talents you have given to her, and use them for your purpose.  Help us to build one another up and not forget that we are on the same team.  Lord, your word says when we commit our work to you; the financial blessing we receive will not bring misery along with it.  I pray that Dianne will be rewarded well for her work and that it will bless us, our family and others.  Enable her to accomplish great things so that you are glorified.

 

Lord, I pray that you would set Dianne free from anything that holds her other than you.  Deliver her from any memory of the past that has the power to control her or keep her trapped in its grip.  Help her to forgive any person who has hurt her so that unforgiveness will not be able to hold her captive. Help her to live in your presence so that she can be made totally whole.  In the name of Jesus I pull down any strong holds the enemy has erected around Dianne.  I pray she will walk with wisdom and find full deliverance.  Show me how to love and support her well in the process.

 

Lord, I pray that you would enable Dianne to live in total obedience to your laws and your ways.  Help her to see where her thoughts and actions are not lined up with your directions and as to how she is to live.  Remind her to confess any error quickly, and enable her to take the steps of obedience she needs to take.  Keep my wife from doing anything that separates her from the fullness of your presence and your love.  Bless her mind, emotions and will as she takes steps of obedience.  Give her the confidence that comes from knowing she has just obeyed you.  Lord, your word says, “No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.”  I pray that my wife will walk uprightly and that you will pour your blessings upon her.

 

Lord, I pray for Dianne to have total peace about the past, present and future of her life.  Give her a vision for her future that makes her certain she is safe in your hands.  Keep her, and the people she loves, protected from the plans of the evil one.  Help her to see her future from your perspective and not believe any lies of the enemy.  Give her confidence that the future is something she never has to fear.  When she has to make any decision, I pray that You, Holy Spirit, will guide her.  Bless Dianne with the discernment to distinguish the truth from a lie.  May the fruit of her life be seen every year and even into old age may she be fresh and flourishing.  Bless her with a long life, and when she comes to the end of her life, may it not be one moment before your chosen time.  Let the transition also be attended with peace and joy, and the absence of suffering.  Let it be said of Dianne that she was your light to the world around her.  I am confident that “He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ”.

 

In Your Holy Son’s name, Jesus Christ, Amen.

WIVES BODY IMAGE ISSUES: A HUSBANDS VIEW

This may be dangerous ground but I will try to tread lightly.  What comes to my mind right now is that fools rush in where angels fear to tread. Well, I pray I am no fool. Just a husband trying to help others. For the handful of readers that will come back tomorrow for day 8 of the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association 1/2 marathon challenge, I say thank you. This post may run a few people off or make some mad. That is never my intention or my heart. I only want to help your marriage and get your brain thinking. Ok, here goes.

The body image war is waged in our minds by the thoughts we hold captive. The though of not being pretty enough or not measuring up is not from God. Those thoughts are from Satan and his demons. It is said that beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes to the bone. I believe that we have been deceived as to what true beauty is. To quote our pastor, Duane Sheriff, the world says beauty is a blond-Cambodian-refuge-lookalike. When we look to the world for our acceptance, we will always see a flawed version of the truth.

Satan uses the media (TV, magazines, music, music videos, social media, etc.) to tell our ladies that if they do not look like the image being portrayed then they are not beautiful. Over the past few decades this influence has grown rampant. Our young daughters are even caught up in this deception. They are told to look like Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus or Britney Spears then they do not fit in and they are not beautiful. Our wives are told to wear these clothes, her hair like this and this brand of jewelry will make her even more beautiful. The Bible tells us not to look to outer adornments for our beauty. 1 Peter 3:3-4 "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." I firmly believe it is not a sin to wear the items mentioned above. But we should not look to them to make us beautiful. We are to look to God for all we need.

I believe Satan uses the worlds definition of beauty to come between a husband and wife. Most women have one or more body parts they would like to "fix". They believe their breasts are too small or large, their hips are too large, cheek bones not high enough, their weight is either too high or too low, etc. etc. etc. They see the airbrushed models who do not have the stretch marks, C-Section scars or extra weight of childbirth, their hair flowing perfectly down their tan back and perfect makeup. Most women, and men, are intimidated by this person. However, this image of the perfect woman is a lie. The perfect woman is the one we married. At least she is perfect for her husband.The average woman is 5' 4" and 140 lbs. not 5' 11" and 115 lbs. like the airbrushed models who starve themselves just to have their picture taken and be on the magazine cover. Eating disorders are becoming the norm for more and more young women trying to live up to the worlds standards. Scientists have even given this a label, Body Dysmorphic Disorder or BDD. Body Dysmorphic Disorder has been called "imagined ugliness" because the appearance issues the person is obsessing about usually are so small that others don't even notice them. Or, if others do notice them, they consider them minor.

If our wife does not believe she is beautiful she is less willing to be undressed in front of us. She will be less willing to be intimate with us. This is tough for her husband since he wants to see her naked and make love to her. Her husband could even start to believe that his wife does not love him anymore. The low self image wife will spend hours getting herself ready to go outside her home and would never go the grocery store without  her makeup and hair fixed just right. There might be someone there who she knows that could see her. When our wife sees herself as less than beautiful she believes that we see her the same way she sees herself. We know this is not true.

I will jump on the hand grenade here. Body issue images are when we look to our own image for acceptance and not to God.   It is selfish because we are putting acceptance for ourself above being accepted by God as His child. When this happens we are putting ourself before God. This is never good: Have no idol, beauty can become an idol that we worship. The world sure worships their standard of beauty.

What's a guy to do? Is there anything we as husbands and fathers can do to thwart this attack on our wife and daughters?  Yes. We must stand against Satan so he is not able to convince our wife and daughters that the worlds standard of beauty is the one they should compare themselves to. If we, as husbands and fathers, do not take this stand and fight then we are to blame. As the spiritual leader of our homes, it is our God given duty to let our wife and daughters know they are beautiful. We must speak God's word over them and to them so they will believe just how beautiful they are to us and to God.

I do believe that some wives have an issue with their body image because of their husband. He looks extra long at the pretty lady that comes into his line of sight. Mark 9:47 "And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell." Some  husbands tell their wife that she should look like someone else. Or he tells her that a certain part of her body is not like he wants it to be. Husbands, never, ever compare your spouse with another woman. 1 Corinthians 7:2 "But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband."Husbands, we must tell our wife and our daughters how beautiful they are several time a day. Daughters look to their father as a guide when choosing who to date - then marry. We must keep our eyes pure. No emotional affairs. No pornography, that is cheating. 

If we look at ourselves and believe we are not beautiful, then we are saying that God is not beautiful. We are made in His image. Genesis 1:26 says that we are made in God's image and likeness. Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

But can we use our beauty for God's glory. Yes, it may sound like an oxymoron. Ester was a beautiful queen, or a beauty queen, so to speak. She was able to use her beauty to save Israel by using her beauty with the king. We are not to see our beauty as a tool to get what we want or who we want. We are to be humble and submissive to God in all we do. Being the salt of the earth is being beautiful in God's eyes. And he and your husband are the only ones that matter.

Like the stars in the heavens, our inner beauty should display the wonders and majesty of God. He named everyone of them and he knew you before you were born. He knows you're beautiful.

We are praying for your marriage.

WHY DID WE GET MARRIED?

Yeah… why did we get married? What is the purpose of this thing called marriage? Why not get married? Everyone else is doing it.

There have been many surveys on "Why did you get married". The answers over the years have not changed. The top reasons people get married are: (Drum roll please) 

#1 To be happy. While this may seem to be a good answer, most will look to their spouse to make them happy. If we do not look to God for our happiness, we are fooling ourselves. "Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10b When we go outside of God to find our joy and peace we will be deceived by Satan to look to others for our happiness. 

#2 To get away from parents.  Girls usually want to get out from under their dad’s authority. So they get married and then usually come under an immature authority? Their husband's authority. If the husband is spiritually immature, their relationship will be rocky. The husband has to lead his family. The girls who get married to get out from under their fathers authority have a very difficult time dealing with their husband's God given authority.

#3 To solve their problems or get out of problems. So many people believe that when they get married all their problems are automatically solved. As though a magic wand has been waved over them and they are in Never Land. Too many people get married with the visions of sugar plums in their heads. They believe everyday will be Christmas. They spend months or years planning the wedding and only 1-2 hours planning the wedding with their pastor / priest.  I do believe marriage can be Christmas everyday, but only if we go by our faith and not by our feelings. 1 Corinthians 7:28b "But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this."  Paul is telling us that marriage will not fix our problems and expect problems to come. Marriage usually magnifies our faults and problems.

3. God designed marriage to fulfill His plan for man. Man being male and female. Only as “one” do we reflect God’s image. We are as one in marriage as in creation. Man (male and female) is to fill the earth with God’s glory. Both male and female were given dominion and stewardship of creation. 

Genesis 2:18 further explains why we get married, The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” In Genesis 2:24-25 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." Adam and Eve had a compete companionship. Adam did not even know that he was incomplete without Eve. We were created for relationships / fellowship.

There are a few who are the exception and stay single, the Apostle Paul was one of the exceptions. However, when Paul went out to minister the Gospel of Jesus, he went with someone by his side.

Ecclesiastes tells us that two are better than one.

4. To pro-create. Genesis 1:28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” Malachi 2:15-16 speaks of a “godly seed”. We are also to raise our children in the ways of God so they will not stray when they are older. 

5. To avoid fornication. Sex within the confines of marriage is beautiful to God. He is the one who designed it. Sex outside of marriage will always lead to chaos and death. For the wages of sin are death. In Genesis 2:25 we see that Adam and Eve were both naked and unashamed. Since they were the only people on earth, they probably knew each other very well. They had intimacy on a Godly level that we aspire to have with our spouse. They knew everything about each other. 

1 Corinthians 7:2-3 "But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband." Paul knew that as humans we have a sexual desire. He also knew that outside of marriage it would bring misery. In vs 9 Paul says "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." It is much better to have a burning passion for our spouse than for anyone else.

6. To love and serve one another. Each of us have a different love language and we need to strive to learn our spouses language. Even if our spouse has a love language other than acts of service we need to serve then also. In my post Faith Without Works = Dead Marriage I told of when Jesus said He came to serve and not be served. There are many different ways we can serve and love our spouse and we need to be open to finding and doing them. More than just the obvious food, clothing and shelter, we need to serve the needs of our spouse above all others. Their main need may be affection, affirmation, attention, acts of service, kindness, sexual intimacy, etc. If you do not know what it is, ask them. I'm sure they will tell you.

7. The Great Mystery. Paul speaks of a great mystery in Ephesians 5. The husband is a type of Christ and the wife is a type of the church. As a married couple we are to reveal Christ and His church to the world. Husbands are to lay down their lives for their wife as Christ did for us. We, as married couples, should live in a way that when the world sees us they want what we have.