There have been many surveys on "Why did you get married". The answers over the years have not changed. The top reasons people get married are: (Drum roll please)
#1 To be happy. While this may seem to be a good answer, most will look to their spouse to make them happy. If we do not look to God for our happiness, we are fooling ourselves. "Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10b When we go outside of God to find our joy and peace we will be deceived by Satan to look to others for our happiness.
#2 To get away from parents. Girls usually want to get out from under their dad’s authority. So they get married and then usually come under an immature authority? Their husband's authority. If the husband is spiritually immature, their relationship will be rocky. The husband has to lead his family. The girls who get married to get out from under their fathers authority have a very difficult time dealing with their husband's God given authority.
#3 To solve their problems or get out of problems. So many people believe that when they get married all their problems are automatically solved. As though a magic wand has been waved over them and they are in Never Land. Too many people get married with the visions of sugar plums in their heads. They believe everyday will be Christmas. They spend months or years planning the wedding and only 1-2 hours planning the wedding with their pastor / priest. I do believe marriage can be Christmas everyday, but only if we go by our faith and not by our feelings. 1 Corinthians 7:28b "But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this." Paul is telling us that marriage will not fix our problems and expect problems to come. Marriage usually magnifies our faults and problems.
3. God designed marriage to fulfill His plan for man. Man being male and female. Only as “one” do we reflect God’s image. We are as one in marriage as in creation. Man (male and female) is to fill the earth with God’s glory. Both male and female were given dominion and stewardship of creation.
Genesis 2:18 further explains why we get married, The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” In Genesis 2:24-25 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." Adam and Eve had a compete companionship. Adam did not even know that he was incomplete without Eve. We were created for relationships / fellowship.
There are a few who are the exception and stay single, the Apostle Paul was one of the exceptions. However, when Paul went out to minister the Gospel of Jesus, he went with someone by his side.
Ecclesiastes tells us that two are better than one.
4. To pro-create. Genesis 1:28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” Malachi 2:15-16 speaks of a “godly seed”. We are also to raise our children in the ways of God so they will not stray when they are older.
5. To avoid fornication. Sex within the confines of marriage is beautiful to God. He is the one who designed it. Sex outside of marriage will always lead to chaos and death. For the wages of sin are death. In Genesis 2:25 we see that Adam and Eve were both naked and unashamed. Since they were the only people on earth, they probably knew each other very well. They had intimacy on a Godly level that we aspire to have with our spouse. They knew everything about each other.
1 Corinthians 7:2-3 "But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband." Paul knew that as humans we have a sexual desire. He also knew that outside of marriage it would bring misery. In vs 9 Paul says "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." It is much better to have a burning passion for our spouse than for anyone else.
6. To love and serve one another. Each of us have a different love language and we need to strive to learn our spouses language. Even if our spouse has a love language other than acts of service we need to serve then also. In my post Faith Without Works = Dead Marriage I told of when Jesus said He came to serve and not be served. There are many different ways we can serve and love our spouse and we need to be open to finding and doing them. More than just the obvious food, clothing and shelter, we need to serve the needs of our spouse above all others. Their main need may be affection, affirmation, attention, acts of service, kindness, sexual intimacy, etc. If you do not know what it is, ask them. I'm sure they will tell you.
7. The Great Mystery. Paul speaks of a great mystery in Ephesians 5. The husband is a type of Christ and the wife is a type of the church. As a married couple we are to reveal Christ and His church to the world. Husbands are to lay down their lives for their wife as Christ did for us. We, as married couples, should live in a way that when the world sees us they want what we have.