Verse Of The Day

Monday, October 22, 2012


So, you think your spouse does not want a better marriage while you want a marriage made in Heaven. You believe your spouse doesn’t see the need for any changes to your current situation. At least that may be what you are thinking. Chances are that your spouse is just complacent with the way things are. They may not believe things need to change because they are happy with the way things are currently. Marriages only coast downhill. They take work to go uphill with both spouses helping each other.
How many things do you want to change? One, ten, everything? The first thing to ask may be why do you believe things need to change? Secondly, why do you believe your spouse does not want a better marriage? Have they told you they don’t want your marriage to get better? (If so, know we are praying for your marriage.) If you want a better marriage so the two of you are showing your kids and the world God’s love you are one the right track. As a married couple we are to emulate Jesus, our groom, to others. But, if you want a better marriage out of selfish reasons you need to re-evaluate your heart and motive on this one.
Where do we go from here? Let’s try a few new things. It may be painful at first since the new things will stretch us out of our comfort zone but the rewards are plentiful.
If you want your husband to help with the housework try doing the housework naked. (Obviously, your husband will need to be in the house for this to work) Ok, not if kids are around and only with the blinds closed. Your spouse is the only one ever allowed to see you naked. Yes, a guy is writing this but I hope you see the benefits of this. While fatigue is your number one reason for a lack of sex, it is the number one reason for men also. We are just too busy of a nation. Find ways to relax together and enjoy God's peace.
If you want more sex try doing the housework for her. Do the dishes, vacuum the floors, do the laundry – including putting the clothes up and/or cook supper. How about helping the kids with their homework, bathing them and tucking them into bed while your wife relaxes with a Calgon bubble bath or reading a good book? Fatigue is the number one reason for a lack of sex. A survey by Paul at The Marriage Bed “Why wives say no to sex, and what a man can do about it” can be found here Paul also says, “So, if you want more sex, your number one job is to find a way for your bride to get more rest and better sleep. Nothing else will have as much of an effect, and for most women nothing else can have an effect until the exhaustion issue is resolved.”
The main thing to remember in your marriage is that your marriage is not about you. It is about serving your spouse. Jesus said He came to serve not be served. All of us are to be Christlike.
Remember, you cannot change your spouse. Your job is to pray for God to change you and to make you the spouse that God wants you to be. Changing your spouse: That is a job left only to God.


  1. "The main thing to remember in your marriage is that your marriage is not about you." If only more couples could see the wisdom of this truth!

    Great post.

  2. Scott, you are so right. Too many people think that if their marriage is not going their way it is doomed. It is not doomed. They are just being selfish. We must reflect Jesus in our marriage for our kids and the world.
    God Bless,

  3. indeed... Selflessness cures just about every marriage problem

    1. If we would all put down our selfishness this world would be a much better place.
      God Bless,

  4. I agree that marriage is about "serving your spouse" and loving them as Christ loves us (and he showed his love for people when he was on this earth by serving them), but that's hard to do. At the same time, I think as one spouse changes and seeks to love and serve the other, that will instigate chance in the other spouse... as shown in the movie Fireproof.

  5. Thanks Bonnie,
    We love Fireproof and had over 400 people watch it at our church. Paul says in 1 Cor 7 that one spouse doing the right thing can have a positive effect on the other. It is hard to keep doing the right thing, but the payoff is great.
    God Bless,